Sunday, January 29, 2006

Haiku again

Two subjects are currently dominating my conscious emotions. One is present everywhere in the local environment; the other is more personal to me.

water, gone
silent city
hear, darkness

solitary hammer
trailer in the driveway
block by block

father's silent grief
sinks into the earth
love hurts

father's optimism
solid as the earth
love sustains

Thanks for the push, Andrew.


Andrew said...

Sweet! I've been wanting to finally see your blog!

I don't know what that prof had in mind, but s/he seems oblivious to the zen spirit of the haiku, which is present in great abundance.

walking through the valley

I stopped to politely question an aged grandfather:

"Randy's haiku is the shizzit!" was his only reply

Randy said...

The critique I got was technical in nature. It got me away from slavish adherence to the 5/7/5 rule, and got me to thinking about how many ideas to put in each line. Still, my writing ego was easily bruised.