I am having a killer sleep disorder these days, despite using my apnea CPAP thingy. I seem to wake up every hour or two with regularity, then take a while to get back to sleep. I think I've figured out what's going on. The doc from the sleep clinic told me a few weeks ago that the brain during REM, dream sleep is physiologically indistinguishable from the fully awake brain, so it's very easy for it to wake up during odd dreams. As you, my gentle readers, are aware, my subconscious mind has a habit of screaming at me in the form of dreams. About a week ago, my therapist made some connections about some of the Toby-and-Adam stuff going on in my head, and commented that it would be interesting to see how that would play out in my dreams. The underlying issue is a painful one that goes way, way back into my own early childhood. This current sleep deprivation phase began either the night I spoke with Therapy Guy or the next night. I'm thinking that I subconciously don't want to have any dreams, so I wake up whenever I get into the REM state. Whatever, it sucks out loud.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Two subjects are currently dominating my conscious emotions. One is present everywhere in the local environment; the other is more personal to me.
trailer in the driveway
block by block
father's silent grief
sinks into the earth
solid as the earth
Thanks for the push, Andrew.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
DW and I spent the last few days in Alexandria, LA, seeing our boys and helping set up for the 1st annual St. Mary's Autism Conference. The school is looking to have its autism center serve as a resource to help school systems in the area train educators in applied behavior analysis (ABA), the only scientifically validated methodology for educating autistic children. This first conference pretty much went over the basics of ABA, and there was a fascinating presentation on brain science. Most of the participants were from school systems in CenLa, but there was a strong presence from St. Mary's new partner, Tulane Medical School, and I saw a couple of people from the U. of Southern Mississippi.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
I saw this postcard yesterday at the gas station, and thought how fun it would be to take my kids to something like this. Coincidentally, later yesterday, I was asked by someone who knew nothing about my picking up the card whether some of my recent angsty attitude was caused by not being able to do "normal" things with my kids.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
I saw this movie for the first time this morning. Holy freaking hell! How did I not hear about this back in 2001, when it came out? I realize I was in the midst of a family crisis, but still.
Anyhow, this is the story of a mentally ill teenager who hears and sees a 6 foot tall bunny rabbit, whose instructions lead him down interesting paths, into time travel and a parallel dimension. I'm going to need to watch it over to refine my thinking about the plot. There is quite a lot to talk about regarding mental illness, loneliness, alienation, manipulation, sacrifice, redemption, destiny, and truth-seeking, and there's a killer satire on pop feel-good self-help programs. Jake Gyllenhaal is excellent as Donnie, and, on the DVD cover, he looks a bit like our gentle reader Craig the Filospher. The direction of the film keeps the viewer off-balance, just like the story itself does, and the movie makes good use of music. Very nicely done.
Friday, January 20, 2006
I saw a Texas flag atop a construction project in Slidell this morning. I concocted a story that the powers-that-be in Parish Government were so offended by the Chocolate City speech the other day that they formally seceded from Louisiana and annexed us to Texas, and that, henceforth, we will no longer be known as a suburb of New Orleans, but rather, as a suburb of Houston.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
"God save the Queen
she ain't no human bein'"
--The Sex Pistols
I had a dream about H.M. the Queen a couple of nights ago. No, it wasn't one of those dreams, thank goodness. DW and I were seated at the Queen's U.S. memorial service, which, as a favor to President at the time, was being held in a sports arena at the University of Oklahoma. I was debating whether to stand when the procession entered the arena, as we threw off the royal yoke of oppression in 1776, but the news coverage of the people in London who had refused to stand at the procession there made me think that maybe I should stand. The non-standers were portrayed as gutter punks and other scum. I didn't want to be counted in their number. The procession began to enter, and I had to make my decision. That's when the dream ended.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
We spent the better part of the weekend patching our fence. There are a few adjustments left, but it was a larger engineering project than I initially contemplated. Nevertheless, I'm determined to get over my poor homeowner self-image, and this fence-mending project is a good start.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
I was in my hometown of Ponca City, Oklahoma, which was in the midst of a cheese crisis. It seems that all of the world-famous cheddar cheese produced in the town was infected by a lethal bacteria. People around the world were sick and dying, and the reputation of the town was ruined. I, however, was immune from the bacteria. I paid a visit to the old Miller Market grocery store, and walked all around the town with a giant slab of cheddar cheese in my hand. I would pull of a bit and eat it, just to show off my immunity. I was really cocky about the whole thing.
The funny thing is that Ponca City produces no cheese products of which I am aware. DW's hometown of Logan, Utah, however, produces quite a lot of cheese. DW once worked in the mold room of one of the local cheese factories. Yummy yum yum!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
This morning, I dreamed that I was in an astrophysics class. The professor was instructing us in how to fight an interstellar thermonuclear war. She was drilling us on how to climb across the ceiling while collecting and defending stars, planets, and galaxies. There was a film shown in which there was a simulated interstellar war being fought, and the instructor had a sense of urgency about her. Beneath the ceiling was a typical auditorium classroom. During lecture, we used textbooks, but I don't recall any details about them.