I seem to be full of Zen thoughts this week. I posted this on a bulletin board, so some of you may already have read it.

I'd like to throw something out that I've been thinking about lately, the Buddhist ideal of ego-abandonment. I read a fabulous Zen book recently entitled "Opening the Hand of Thought." The author distinguished what he called the "conditioned self," or "karmic self," from what he called the "universal Self." The conditioned self is ego-driven (or even id-driven, if you want to use Freudian terms), and has a strong sense of him/herself as an independent, separate entity. But Buddhists believe that nothing--including individual people--has any permanent form. Everything arises from a life-force paradoxically labeled "emptiness," and to emtiness everything returns, and everything is impermanent and always changing. Moreover, everything--including me--is dependent on the conditions that bring it about and that bring about its termination. So I have no independent existence and no permanent form. The universal Self thus is emptiness, and through emptiness I am one with all sentient beings in the universe. Therefore, I am you and you are me. One obvious consequence of this line of thought is that I must abandon my sense of self along the way. I have felt that ego-abandonment while sitting zazen intensely, dropping my pride and my baggage, if only for a few minutes at a time.

My point of departure in all things spiritual, and my comparison/contrast naturally is Mormonism. It struck me yesterday that the LDS Church (and, indeed, Christianity generally) teaches ego-abandonment to some extent. The Christian is broken before the Cross, and submits his/her will to God's will. The Mormon is broken before the Cross largely by submitting his/her will to the will/commandments/policies of the LDS Church.

However, while the individual members of the Church may achieve a great degree of ego-abandonment and humility, the LDS Church as an entity most certainly does not. The One True Church on the face of the Earth is infallible and incapable of error, as a matter of doctrine. Those who question are mislead, apostate, or incapable of understanding. Additionally, the Church builds up the egos of those broken souls I describe above by advancing them in the corporate hierarch and giving them titles and status. It's really something to have the power of God to do His work on the Earth, via the exclusive LDS Priesthood. For example, a decade or so ago, a GA gave a conference talk titled "Honoring the Priesthood." He spoke about how people should be addressed by their titles, how counselors should stand behind the Bishop at the end of Sacrament Meeting to receive assignments, and so forth. Even then, I found this talk small-minded and pharisaic. Shortly thereafter, my Bishop requested that I speak on the topic of honoring the priesthood. I spoke all about administering to the sick, home teaching, being good examples, avoiding unrighteous dominion, etc. That to me was honoring the priesthood. Ultimately, then, the LDS Church rebuilds the egos of those who come to it with a broken heart and a contrite spirit.