I was half asleep in the car this afternoon--don't worry, DW was driving--when I began to cogitate on the principle of nonattachment and its application inside my own mind. I've been able to detach myself from various "shoulds" over the past few years--my stubbornness on my boys' placement outside the home being the hardest--but I've not yet been able to detach myself from the concept of categorizing myself and my bad habit of self-loathing, something that is fairly complicated and deeply ingrained. Is this a function of my having more of an ego than I'm willing to admit? Is it cultural? Habitual? Delusional? I'd like to think I'm perfectly happy being whomever and whatever I may be at any given moment in my impermanent, transient existence, but I'm not there yet.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
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3 comments:
It would be great to have the supreme self-confidence of the 4-year-old in his last few months of preschool (I got this from McSweeney's site):
"9:04 a.m. Forward hilarious e-mail to everyone in address book. Subject line: "Poo-poo."
9:10 a.m. Take spreadsheets out of Star Wars backpack. Stretch out on floor and begin making notations with crayon."
Take a psychological break and regress to pleasanter times:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/
(scroll down to "The Four-Year-Old's Worday")
Oh, that would be the poo poo e-mail I forwarded yesterday. Thanks for the link!
When you get to being
whomever and whatever I may be at any given moment in my impermanent, transient existence
Please post directions for me, OK? I'd like to find that place, too.
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