Randy's Drug Dream

Well, that sure was an unusual dream. Last night, I made the mistake of washing down my extra-hot microwave burritos with a bottle of Corona. Some of my gentle readers may with to substitute Coke for the beverage I mentioned, should they choose to retell this story. I'm just saying. Anyway, that mix of food and beverage does not go too well with Wellbutrin and Lexapro, and I woke up two or three times in a cold sweat last night.

Later on, after I was all sweated-out, I had a dream that some of the cool kids from my past were running a meth lab in somebody's living room. I was hanging around the house outside of the lab with another geek who was around the cool crowd, but not really a part of it. As an act of pure spite, we had tipped off the FBI about the meth lab (hmm, shouldn't I have called the DEA?), and we were waiting to let the feebies into the house. Strangely, the feebies missed the lab when they first entered the house. "That's odd," I thought, "meth labs usually stink to high heaven, and this one doesn't smell at all." I know this from work, by the way, so don't anybody get any wrong ideas. Also, one of my signals to the cops was to hold up a sign supporting the University of Kansas. Even though I was asleep, I knew something was wrong with that, because I grew up in Oklahoma, not Kansas, and I matriculated at Louisiana State University. Anyway, the cool kids came running out of the lab when they realized the FBI was there, and one of them emotionally asked how I could have betrayed them. I stood there and lectured the guy about how it felt to be a geek and to be excluded from the cool crowd. How embarrassing--I was being both a geek and an asshole at the same time! Somebody help me!