Sunday, October 03, 2004

Geez, what a wacky weekend. A. was bonkers from 9:00 a.m. Saturday until at least 6:00 p.m. Sunday (as I'm writing). He has been unable to remain at home for more than a little bit at a time, so I've been hauling him here, there, and everywhere. Today was Chuck E. Cheese, Target, the Mississippi Gulf Coast, and the local mall. Yesterday was both local parks, McDonald's playland, and the mall. Also, he's been putting crayons in water, then arranging them on the carpet, making paintings worthy of Andy Worhol. That leads to me bringing in the Bissell, which flips A. out, which means another trip out. The beach was really fun -- A. and I walked 200 yards or so out into the Gulf, and he flopped around like a fish. When he was ready to go, he walked me back to the van and DW.

We spoke with T. this afternoon. For the first time, he cried when he heard our voices. So add a large dose of guilt to the chaos of running with A.


Ann said...

Don't feel guilty. Please.

Sounds like a busy, busy day. A. didn't have school on Friday, did he? Maybe it was the extra day off. I don't know how you handle long breaks, like Christmas and Easter.

Are you wiped? Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, for some well deserved rest? Are you going to the temple in the a.m.?

Phoebe said...

Whew, Randy. That's so exhausting. I just don't know how you keep up that pace. About the guilt -- kids sure do that to you, no way around it, I guess.

none said...

I hear ya. Had my share of weekend madness. I understand the guilt but all in a proper perspective... I wish son´s dad was a little more like you.

Dave said...

Dude! I feel for ya. What's worse than parental guilt? Anything?

Yesterday, I was playing with my daughter and in her excitement, she bit me really hard. Well, I reacted. In a very loud, terse way that scared her, I yelled, "Hey!" and told her to get away from me. She ran to her bedroom. After about two minutes of calming down time, I was overwhelmed with guilt. But I'm thinking, what do I do? Should I let her think that biting people is OK? And it's so not like her. Shouldn't I nip that one in the bud?

Then another part of me's thinking that she was just excited and didn't mean to, that's she's barely 4, what do I expect from her, etc, etc... So I'm feeling guilty for letting her know my own boundaries (I don't generally allow people to bite me) in a way that leaves an impression, but I don't know what else I could have done.

WTF do you do, man? Parenting is the hardest frickin' job in the world.

Randy said...

No, I don't think you should allow your daughter to bite. Our youngest son is a major biter. We have to restrain him on occasion, which is a real challenge. He's a skilled escape artist and he has more determination than we do. The worst is putting him in the car during a tantrum. My low point came over the summer one Friday when I was removing YS from a McDonald's playland. I completely forgot where I had parked, and I was yelling loudly as YS continued the biting, clawing frenzy he had started inside. I think I called him a "fucking savage." After I finally got him into the seat, I looked around and remembered that I was parked about 25 feet from the drive-thru window. Several people were looking at me in horror. I just got into the van and drove off.

doug said...

Dave I had an identical experience with DD when she was 4 years old. My emotional response sounded just like yours. I too was at a loss as to how I would respond after yelling. Uggg, the guilt and bad self talk was awful.

Heather said...

is it the noise of the steam cleaner that freaks him out, or just the destroying of his art? or both?

ian can't stand major appliences. blenders, mixers, vaccum cleaners. loud noises basically.

i don't know how you do it! i can barely restrain my 18 month old some days.

none said...

ugh biting. I´m grateful that biting has never been an issue.

The scream I let out when he bit me while nursing must have made an impression on him back when he was a baby.

hkghkghk said...

Randy, my thoughts are with you man.

My 5-year-old with Asperger's was a biter earlier in his life, thank goodness he grew out of that. He did get into scratching after that but that too has been awhile. Now he'll hit you if he gets really upset. He's super strong now, I hope he is still not hitting when he is a teenager.

The bad times are so exhausting and stressful, thank goodness for the good times.

Oh I started another blog that is only on Autism/Asperger's. Nothing personal there. Just alot of links and info. Check my profile.