Friday, August 20, 2004

I have been invited to attend the 44th Annual Meeting and ToxExpo of the Society of Toxicology.  I'm not making this up -- I pulled the invitation out of my box late yesterday.  According to the dictionary, toxicology is "a science that deals with poisons and their effect and with the problems involved (as clinical, industrial, or legal)."  That's all yours truly knows about toxicology, other than what Professor Snape taught his students in the Harry Potter books.

Here's the fun part -- the meeting will be held in New Orleans, March 6-10, 2005, and the Society is issuing a call for abstracts.  With so many smart people reading this, we should be able to design a bogus abstract to submit, then to present in front of "6,000 scientists from industry, academia, and government."  Anybody have any ideas?


Anonymous said...

OK, let us suppose that at least 50% of the American population has been poisoned with a substance that has affected their thinking ability. Clearly, the evidence points to the last federal election. However, additional supportive evidence lies in the fact that many people would give more thought to out-of-control consumerism than to the value of one human life. Just ask yourself this: if, through some horrific chain of coincidences beyond your control you were to end up on trial for your life, would you really want your fate left in the hands of someone who would vote you off the planet without a second thought but would agonize for days as to whether or not to blow $199.99 on a commemorative Elvis plate from the Franklin Mint?

I rest my case.


Ann said...

I have no comment, except that I LMAO, B.

john_m_burt said...

I am amused by Brenda's bipartisan slam (notice thast she didn't give any indication of WHICH half of the population has been poisoned).

Of course, the worst part about that insidious poison is that actually only a quarter of the population suffered the acute effects of the toxin. The majority, slightly more than half, were merely sedated by it to the point where they did not vote at all.